


Step On Up and Swing Your Bat

by yuffiehighwind



Series: An Eternity in Cheese Country [19]
Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 12:56:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21476371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuffiehighwind/pseuds/yuffiehighwind
Summary: Discord and Deimos bang. That's it, they just...they just bang.
Relationships: Discord/Deimos
Series: An Eternity in Cheese Country [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/29326
Comments: 1





	Step On Up and Swing Your Bat

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place between S5E20 of XWP, "Livia” and S5E22 “Motherhood,” even though this contradicts the timeline in my fic The Opposite of Amnesia. I wrote the original version of this fic back in 2017.
> 
> The title is a lyric from the song "[Bang Bang](https://youtu.be/0HDdjwpPM3Y)" by Jessie J ft. Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj.

“Imagine if we’re the ones to take Xena down! My…I mean _your_ killing blow destroying the warrior princess once and for all. Heart in your fist, begging for mercy!”

Deimos cackled, clenching his fist.

Discord sat on a makeshift throne of jagged iron that mimicked Ares’ more majestic chair in the Halls of War, tapping her fingers on the armrests thoughtfully. Rat-infested with leaky holes in its roof, this desolate temple was normally a safety hazard to be avoided, unless the two gods needed to be alone. And Discord definitely didn’t like being seen alone with the God of Terror.

The young god’s laugh not only pierced her ears but contorted his face into a wide grin that pinched his fairly handsome features cartoonishly. Skin red and neck veins bulging, he threw his whole body into it, but Deimos could also burst into laughter at the slightest thing, not just the thought of finally crushing Xena. He could be loud and obnoxious, talking the ear off anyone who would listen to his passions or his plans. The rare moments Deimos showed cleverness or restraint were infrequent, often giving the impression he was just another of Ares’ brainless henchmen.

So ever since discovering this abandoned temple, Discord didn’t let the ignorance of her followers get her down. It stabbed her in a way she couldn’t describe, almost like a piece of her died every time a human lost faith, but she was still grateful this temple had been forgotten. She was thankful she had a place to share things with Deimos best left unknown to the other gods.

Deimos stepped closer to Discord’s throne, kneeling in front of the goddess and placing his hands on her knees, far too intimate and well within kicking distance. The blonde god’s face relaxed, laughter fading, replaced by a worshipful gaze that swung into his other realm of expressive emotions.

“Gods, I long to see it,” he said, voice low and thick with lust. At this point, any other man would get his hands broken, but Discord allowed Deimos to softly slide his palms up her thighs and under her skirt. This was why Discord liked the privacy - she’d been having an affair with the goofy fear god for two decades. Discord still couldn’t understand, even after all these years, why she let her unattractive nephew fuck her.

This was probably why.

“I can see it - Xena’s blood dripping down your arm as you hold her still-beating heart aloft for all the gods to see, one foot on her corpse in a triumphant pose, envy of everyone. Goddess of Discord, Queen of Olympus.”

“Show me,” Discord said, voice breathy, body tensing in arousal as his fingertips brushed her mound. “Worship me.”

“With pleasure,” Deimos said, working her with his hands while Discord shut her eyes, throwing her head back and spreading her legs wider. He pushed up her skirt and Discord clutched his hair in one hand and the armrest with the other, pulling his mouth closer.

“Oh gods,” Discord whispered, moaning softly, then louder when Deimos inserted two fingers inside her. It was an awkward angle, sitting like this, but Discord felt like Ares lounging on his throne in the Halls of War getting his cock sucked by some servant girl, or worshiper, or Discord herself.

_Or Strife_, she thought, remembering watching the boy from a distance, only seeing the back of his head as he pleasured his uncle, but meeting Ares’ eyes, the God of War giving her a cruelly smug grin. She couldn’t take her eyes away when Ares came, anger surging in her gut when she imagined Strife choking on the god’s cum. How dare he use the boy like that! Her fury only abated once she saw Strife’s euphoric expression as he gazed up at his uncle with love and lust. She couldn’t begrudge him that. Ares was a charismatic lover, cruel or kind.

Their features somewhat similar, Deimos sucking on her clit didn’t help evaporate this memory, but she was used to it by now. She’d spent a thousand years living alongside Strife, the closest member of her family, and she was used to his body language and expressions, the way he laughed, the way he behaved, when he was angry or depressed, triumphant and joyful. She’d spent twenty-five years with Deimos, and he had aped these things in a way that was discomfiting, until she realized how different they were, and that it was in no way creepy to be fucking him.

Okay, so him gazing up at her with those same blue irises was a little creepy, but she was coming, and that overruled everything.

“By the goddess of the night!”

Deimos lifted his head and said, with a self-satisfied smirk, “More?”

Discord nodded, this time rising from her throne to take his hand and teleport them to her bed. Deimos wobbled on his feet, disoriented by the quick movement. They could have walked there - she had hidden one inside the old priests' quarters - but Discord was impatient, throwing Deimos onto the bed with her supernatural strength and straddling him.

“Top or bottom, baby?” Discord asked, as if the God of Terror had a choice in the matter. Discord would pick the opposite of whatever he answered.

“I want you just like this, babe,” he said, hands on her waist, giving a slight thrust, his leather pants rubbing against her clit, still exposed beneath her skirt.

“Mmm,” Discord said, licking her lips, “I have a better idea.”

Sometimes a girl just wanted to be taken, even by a dorky idiot like Deimos, who she knew would take full advantage of having her pinned down, ramming into her with the inexpert care of a shepherd boy losing his virginity.

With another disorienting teleport, Discord was beneath Deimos, both of them nude. Without the absurd outfit – oxblood leather with fringed sleeves and tight shorts - Deimos was a thin but lean muscled man whose attractiveness shot from zero to 7. (Discord could only give him a seven and thought that was being generous, but when his expression changed, when he gazed at her intensely with blue eyes that didn’t squint or face that pinched, she would melt. Except when he came, but all men looked stupid when they came.)

With a rival like Deimos, who stole her thunder and thwarted her plans at every and any opportunity, the sex was typically heated and competitive. It was unusual he had softened her tonight by eating her out first, but he must have some ulterior motive. Use Discord’s skills to hurt Xena, then take all the credit himself? Probably. But did that matter when she was coming in his mouth? Not really.

“Come on, I can take it!” Discord taunted him, spreading her legs. He couldn’t hurt a goddess - especially one so powerful - but even if she were mortal, Discord would probably get off from the pain.

Discord’s body didn’t ache from his rough thrusts, but like a human woman, she needed to touch her clitoris to make it across the finish line. Before she could reach down to stroke herself, Deimos pinned her wrists above her head.

“Uh-uh, you’re not getting there ‘til I do.”

Grunting with the effort, Deimos slammed into her supernaturally fast. Discord groaned, but yeah, she could take it. This was something she missed with her mortal lovers. Sure, some humans could fuck well and eat her out. She even let some spank and whip her, when she wasn’t doing the same to them. In fact, playing with pain was better with Deimos, because if she stripped the skin off his back or marked him with cuts and bruises, they would swiftly heal, and they could play some more without Discord accidentally killing him. It was why she liked wrestling for dominance, throwing Deimos down to ride him hard just as he was fucking her now, challenged when he flipped her again, fucking so hard they broke furniture.

It was disgusting, imagining what someone might see watching the two of them. Someone witnessing her sucking his cock was the most embarrassing - submissively down on her knees, mouth open wide, his hands pushing down her head, tugging on her hair. Sometimes he’d jerk himself off between her parted lips, coating her tongue with hot cum.

Even someone spotting them chastely kiss embarrassed her, because Discord thought it was too sappy and sweet. Fucking was one thing, but kissing was something else altogether. She wasn’t sure why kissing Deimos felt more intimate than swallowing his cock - it was probably the close proximity to another person’s face. Discord liked kissing Ares, but then again, if she was seen kissing the God of War, she would be the envy of everyone.

By now she’d usually throw Deimos off, flip him onto his back and take her turn dominating him, but instead Discord wrapped her legs around his waist. She easily wrenched her arms free from his grip and looped them around his neck, pulling him closer. Discord rocked her hips, slowing his own into a new rhythm, saying, “Easy tiger, we’ve got all night.”

“You’re the one who wanted me to pound you. I was just following my queen’s orders.”

“Well I want you to slow the fuck down.”

"Mmm," Deimos said with a slight grin, kissing the side of her face, the corner of her lip, nose brushing her earlobe. "But what's the fun in that?"

Discord wasn't sure how to answer. They'd worked themselves into a frenzy, and slow teasing was usually their idea of revenge - driving each other crazy with the need to get off by using their hands or mouths to bring their partner to the razor's edge of orgasm before letting the feeling fade, over and over again. 

But sometimes Discord enjoyed what her sister Aphrodite called “making love” – an idea so ludicrous it didn’t bear consideration! She'd shared a lot with Deimos over the years, but would never, ever confess this to him. The best way to meet this need was to wordlessly wrap her legs around his thighs to still his hips, to relish the feel of his pulsing cock inside her. She would run her fingers through his hair, gaze into his blue eyes and--

Discord could feel her expression change from bare lust to this other deep desire. To hide it she buried her face in his neck, grazing her nails down his back, clutching him tightly. Deimos slowed his thrusts to a full stop, and Discord started to ask what was wrong when she felt his body shift position. Deimos rose to his knees to sit back on his legs, carrying her petite body with him so they both sat upright, Discord straddling his lap.

She rested her chin on his shoulder, and more than a few moments of such embraces weirded him out, too intimate for the restless fear god. He ran his fingers through her long, black hair anyway, and smoothed his palms down her back to grip her buttocks. Deimos bounced her on his cock, slowly at first and then faster, shifting his legs to get more comfortable thrusting up into her.

"Tell me how much you like my cock. Tell me how big it is, how it fills you up."

"Shut the fuck up," Discord said with annoyance.

"Tell me or I won't let you come."

Discord leaned back to look at him.

"You're so big," she said, deadpan. "Oh baby, you fill me up."

Deimos rolled his eyes and roughly pushed Discord back down. He positioned her feet on his shoulders, and each deep thrust made Discord gasp. 

"Say it," he commanded sharply, digging his fingers into her thighs.

"Fill me up with your big cock," she said, the tremble in her voice betraying her.

Picking up speed, he said, "Again.”

"Fill me up with your big cock!"

He laughed. "Was that so hard?"

Deimos started to breathe heavily, and his thrusts staggered and stuttered out of rhythm.

"I'm gonna--I'm gonna come!"

Discord couldn't be disappointed, because talking him through it was - shamefully - a turn on.

"Come inside me," she said, placing her hands over the ones so tightly gripping her legs. Rubbing his wrists soothingly, she cooed, "That’s it, come for me. You’re doing so good, baby. I wanna watch you come.”

His moan was throaty and loud. Nose scrunching, there it was, that stupid look all men had when they came.

Deimos put Discord's legs down and relaxed, his shoulders slouching. He braced himself on his elbows, looking exhausted despite being a god. Discord ran her hands through his short hair and over the back of his head. He kissed her sloppily. Keyed up and body still craving orgasm, Discord passionately kissed back. Deimos pulled out and rolled onto his back.

"You're incredible," he said breathlessly, one arm flung over his eyes. He let out a high pitched giggle, and Discord had to crawl over him and straddle his leg to remind him she still hadn't come. She rubbed her wet cunt on his thigh and Deimos looked up at her, like he was surprised she was still there.

"Your queen hasn't come," Discord said softly. "It's about time you fix that." She moved up further to straddle his chest. Discord kneeled above him, edging closer to his face. He grinned and lightly grasped her buttocks.

Discord lowered herself until her cunt rested on his chin. Pressing one hand against the wall to steady herself, she reached down with the other to gently caress his cheek, encouraging his lips to open. Deimos gripped her buttocks tighter and flicked her clitoris with his tongue.

Some of his cum dripped from her cunt into his mouth, and the disgusting sight pleased her. Discord enjoyed his degradation, but knew it turned him on too. She braced herself against the wall with both hands so she could balance herself on his face, to squirm into the ideal position for him to suck her clit.

Deimos pleasured her enthusiastically, moaning against her cunt. His eyes closed, he looked less like a man performing an unpleasant chore and more like one indulging in his favorite dessert. Discord had already been close from the sex before he started, so it didn’t take much stimulation to climax. She cried out - and bracing herself had been a good idea, because she doubled over with the pleasure, grinding into Deimos' face. He gripped her hips tightly to hold her in place. Deimos didn't stop licking through her orgasm, pulling her down so Discord couldn't escape. The feeling passed, but he still wouldn't stop. He was more insistent the more overstimulated she became, barreling towards another orgasm.

"Deimos," she said, grasping his hair. "Deimos!"

Discord started to come again, and he kept one arm wrapped around her to hold her still, using his other hand to insert two fingers inside her sore cunt. As she peaked, Discord let out an embarrassingly high-pitched squeal. Once she stopped shaking, Deimos withdrew his fingers and mischievously grinned up at her. His grip loosened, allowing Discord to get up, sit beside him and catch her breath. She looked down and saw he already had another erection.

"Let me guess where that's going,” she said with an aggrieved sigh, but her lip quirked in amusement and there was no real irritation in her voice.

With a laugh, Deimos rolled over and tackled her, pressing Discord into the blankets and gripping each wrist, like he had earlier in their session. Despite the overstimulation to her clit, Discord let her knees fall open so he could settle himself between them, the head of his cock brushing her wet cunt.

"My queen deserves the best," he said, slowly easing his cock inside her. "This time I'll let you touch yourself."

"Oh, small favors," Discord said dryly.

"I'd still love to watch you riding me," Deimos said with a grin, and Discord imagined Deimos crumbling to pieces beneath her. Maybe she could tie him up, edging him to the brink of orgasm and back again like the time she'd been furious he interfered with a mission of hers. Discord’s sweet revenge was spending hours torturing Deimos with whips and feathers, sharp things and soft things, making him beg for release and never giving him the satisfaction.

Or she could suck him off like he was her king and not her subordinate. Let him come on her face, in her hair, and tell her she's a good girl. They could continue playing until the sun rose, and it was now that want for _more_ filled her chest - the desire to come with her eyes locked with his. To whisper things only humans felt - stupid mortals with fleeting lives they tried to fill with meaning, even though human lives were truly meaningless.

Shaking off such thoughts, Discord used her superior strength to flip Deimos onto his back without withdrawing his cock. She could have teleported them, but reminding him she was stronger was an occasional necessity – how much older she was, and more powerful.

Discord grasped her breasts, grazing her right nipple with her fingernail, hissing at the sensation. With Deimos buried deep inside her, she began moving her hips. Discord had come three times tonight – once while sitting on her throne, and twice more sitting on his face – and she would surely come a fourth while sitting on his cock. But she wanted to watch Deimos fall apart first.

"Hands on my hips," she commanded, and he complied. Deimos tried sliding his palms up her abdomen towards her breasts, but she slapped them away.

"Don't move a muscle," she said, grinding down hard. "No thrusting, just focus on the feel of my cunt."

Deimos smiled. "I can do that."

Clearly he could not, because his hips moved. She pinched his nipples hard, twisting them.

"Ow!"

"Be a good boy and stay still."

Discord accelerated her rhythm and his fingers gripped her tighter. He watched her breasts as they bounced.

"Eyes up here," Discord said, pointing to her own. He locked eyes with her, mouth slack. Sometimes he licked his top lip but complied with her challenge not to move.

"You're so good," she said, "lying still for me."

Deimos shut his eyes, swallowing hard. She pinched his nipple so he would open them. From his expression she could tell he was getting close.

"Good subjects do as they're told and come when their queen commands. You want to be good, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, nodding fervently.

"You're gonna come exactly when I say, understand?"

He nodded.

"Not a second before."

"Yes, Discord!"

"I see you're almost there. Hold on until I say."

Discord rode him faster, and she could tell Deimos' self-restraint was at its breaking point. Usually she would stop and let the feeling fade, bring him close again, then stop and wait. Repeat. But this was an equally fun and less cruel alternative to edging, challenging him to time his own ejaculation.

"You're doing such a good job, baby,” she said.

He might actually make it. A human man would have come ages ago at the pace Discord was riding him.

"Are you ready, hun?" she asked, and Discord almost burst into delighted laughter at his strained, desperate expression. His skin was red, body tensed. “You ready to come?”

"Yes!"

"Come for me," Discord said, and Deimos shuddered with the force of his orgasm. Discord stilled her hips and let out the laugh that had been building. Deimos laughed along with her, in relief and with the surge of pleasure.

"Woo!" he exclaimed, roughly pulling Discord down to kiss her, now they were out of character. He didn't know that yanking his queen into bed was a crime against the throne and he didn't seem to care.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he said hoarsely, licking into her mouth.

"You look like an idiot,” Discord teased, but she said it with a smile.

"I'm guessing you didn't get off again,” he said accurately.

Discord had been close when he came, just shy of one final, thrumming orgasm. Deimos pulled out and lay next to her, reaching down to rub her clit. Her cunt was soaked from the two times he had come inside her. Deimos used three slick fingers to stimulate her in easy, circular motions, while Discord languidly stretched and sunk into the bed. At some point their magic had materialized a thick, comfy blanket and four silky pillows. It didn't take long for her to climax.

"Mmm," Discord sighed in satisfaction, as her body relaxed. "Not bad."

Deimos laughed.

"Not bad? More like fucking amazing."

Discord wrapped the blanket around herself, curling inward. The pair lay on their sides facing each other.

“Five minutes,” she said, closing her eyes.

“Until what?”

“Until I kick you out.”

Deimos chuckled.

“You ain’t getting rid of me so easily.”

He brushed some strands of hair out of Discord’s eyes, and the gentle motion filled her chest with something warm that was probably affection. It was disgusting. She wanted to stab something.

“You really think I can do it?” Discord asked softly. “Kill Xena?” The doubt in her tone seemed to shock him.

“Of course I do,” he replied. “You’re the most ruthless, badass goddess I know.”

Discord blushed and hoped he didn’t notice.

“Seriously, Discord, that’s not a line. I already got off twice.”

“You sure did.”

“Although,” he said, “you actually owe me two more.”

Frowning, Discord opened her eyes.

“What?”

“Yeah, you came _four _times, and I’m afraid we’ve gotta make it even,” Deimos said, sitting up.

She scoffed. “You’re kidding me.”

“I’ll make it easy. All you have to do is open your mouth.”

Deimos gripped his cock, massaging it hard again. Glancing down at it, there was a tiny part of Discord tempted to comply. To be praised for her own obedience, to serve and to worship and be used. But that wasn’t their game tonight.

Maybe a quick tease.

“Fair enough. C’mere,” she said, lying on her back and opening her mouth comically wide. Deimos grinned lasciviously.

But before he could touch his body to her lips, Discord disappeared in a cloud of violet smoke.


End file.
